The Middle 30. Trying our Best

It is 5:30 in the morning, and I am drinking a coffee while listening to the sounds of the atmospheric river outside. I’ve been sick this week, and my sleep has been affected as a result. The fact I am up earlier than normal has my dog confused, who is currently giving every indication that she would like her breakfast despite it being an hour too early. Bless her heart, she’s trying her best out here.

Which, I mean, aren’t we all? Trying our best, I mean.

It’s a strange life to live. The world is at our fingertips and it isn’t always a great feeling. I can scroll on TikTok and watch someone apply their makeup one second and then watch the aftermath of a bombing in the Middle East the next. My phone presents me articles about Christian nationalism, where I read the words of one pastor who has poignantly said that women should not be able to vote and that false accusations of sexual assault should be punishable by death¹. I’m watching the faith that has given my life meaning be weaponized from the pulpits of churches and political parties alike. Dividing lines are being drawn before my eyes, sequestering us from one another and being pretty successful about it.

Disconnected people are people who are easy to control.

So I try my best.

I try my best to grieve the state of the world. To let myself be affected and burdened instead of numbed and avoidant.

I try my best to foster foolhardy hope. Hope that is so reckless and unfounded but rooted in something Greater than myself.

I try my best to consider the universe, the vast mystery of it, and let that preach to me. We know so little, when you think about it.

I try my best to learn from my dog, who is inherently hopeful and full of delight.

I try my best to put my phone away.

I try my best to sow compassion where I want to sow hatred.

I try my best to turn my eyes towards the leaves changing colour.

I try my best to stay connected to our common humanity for I will not be controlled by the powers that be, but instead informed by the Power that is.

Power that is kind. Gentle. Just. Faithful. Loving. Unconditional. Seeing. Creative. Humble. Merciful. Wise.

And I remember that I don’t know much, in the scheme of things, but what I know is this: daring to love and daring to hope is the great work of a life well-lived.

So I’ll keep trying my best.

A Blessing
May we dare to love and to hope
like the heavy rain
Faithful to cover everything

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A shorter one today, folks. Sometimes I have a lot of words, and sometimes I have few. What I do have is covid so it is time to finally feed my dog and go back to bed. Sending you all great health and hope on this rainy (if you live in the lower mainland) Saturday!

1. You can read the article here if you also wish to be angry this morning. I also have to do my due diligence to remind you that false accusations of sexual assault are few and far between, and we really don’t need to make it even harder for victims to report.